Male Writer: Ah, anniversary jokes are so funny. Because chicks always hate it when you don’t remember anniversaries! A plus gold very original
Male Writer: Mother in laws amirite?
Male Writer: My male character who is an author insert of myself pines after a woman I used to pine after in high school. Then they have sex. This is good literature.
Male Writer: Ugh female books are so romance filled
Male Writer: And girl fanfics, so mary suey
Male Writer: Now listen about this original middle aged man who is an expert in everything, suffers from ennui, looks like me, acts like me, and gets all the girls i want.
Male Writer: She was sexy in an alluring, boring way, filled with purple prose and riddled with objectification
Male Writer: If i make a female character parrot my misogynistic views, they cease to be misogynistic! Are you saying you don’t respect my fake female characters opinions, feminists?
Male Writer: a good action girl is one who looks hot at all times
Male Writer: If the female main character got in an asskicking line, my work is Feminist with a capital F and no one can criticize me
Specifically White Male Writer: Heroic tropes are so overdone. I’m going to create a boring white guy with stubble to be a completely original antihero no one has ever seen before TM.
Same Guy: It’s original because he is a jerk who gets away with bad behavior, just like I wish i could.
Another Specifically White Male Writer: It’s in my universe to only have white men do things in my book. I mean, don’t you care about historical accuracy
Same Guy: I mean, it’s a generic fantasy verse with no real life time period equivalent and i haven’t done any research, but i’m SURE that it’s historically accurate. To that dark mideval dragon fighting europe period
Same Guy: Where in Europe? Who cares!
Male Writer: There is no better way to introduce a female character to a male character than by him saving her.
Male Writer: Characters hating each other is good sexual tension!
Male Writer: One female character and five male characters is a good team balance
Male Writer: If my female character chooses to act in a sexist tropey way, it’s not sexist. In fact, because she CHOSE to do it, it is Feminist.
Male Writer: I am original

cassiemortmain:

Heir to the Throne – new chapter

In the aftermath of the Battle of Bannockburn, can Queen Sybil find a way to be with Tom at last? Rated M.

***

“Branson, is it? That same Branson who tried to rebel against my father and never achieved anything? Give it up, man, don’t you know it’s a doomed enterprise?”

Tom sneered. “You are not the warrior your father was, King Edward. And as you can see…” He gestured around him, at the fleeing and dead English soldiers scattered over the battlefield. “I think we have achieved something here today, all of your enemies united by hatred of you and your tyrannical rule.”

“I could not have put it better myself, a cáomh”, said a voice from behind Tom’s shoulder.

Edward’s pale face grew even paler at the sight of the man who had just spoken and what he brought with him…

***

Read More

or click here to start from the beginning.

Author’s note

Another long wait for an update but I hope you will enjoy it nonetheless!  It has a special dedication to the lovely @yankeecountess as a late birthday present.

This chapter has a music cue which isn’t easy to find online – it’s used in documentaries and I can’t find out its name or who wrote it anywhere.  The best places I can give you to listen to it are here (at about 4:41 into the show) and here (beginning of the show proper, at about 1:27).  It’s a soaring, Gaelic-style piece with the violin in the foreground, which really makes me think of the landscapes we traverse in this chapter.

All images not mine – thank you as always to angiemagz for the beautiful Queen Sybil manip she made for me.

Click here to read all my Sybil x Tom fanfic.

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! She’s updated! SHE’S UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!