valoisqueens:

(quick disclaimer: this got way longer than i expected and i didn’t get to fit in the party with mary-sybil and sybil-edith interactions so there will be a part two.)

HOW TO SURVIVE THE ANNUAL DOWNTON CHRISTMAS PARTY for @zip-goes-a-million

The most important thing about me, Sybil thought, is how much I hate Christmas. Well, she reflected, that wasn’t entirely fair. During the rest of the year, Sybil tended to give very little thought to Christmas and it was not integral to her identity. Around this time of year, though, with peppermint hot chocolate and red-and-green everything, she ground her teeth together and tried her very best not to be too much of a Scrooge. Gwen, her best friend and flatmate, had known her for so long that she didn’t need to be told and yet Sybil’s own family, who had known her longer and ought to know her better, did.

Sybil did like the tenets and message of Christianity behind the trappings and politicking and she liked to go to church with Gwen and her family. Sybil liked Gwen’s large, boisterous family, from Gwen herself to Gwen’s anarchist teenage niece, her argumentative early church history professor uncle, her opera singer cousin, and her amazing cook of a father. Gwen’s family loved to shout and argue about everything from religion to art. They didn’t hide their emotions behind icy facades in public like Sybil’s family.

In truth, Sybil’s dislike of the holiday probably stemmed from the wholehearted enjoyment with which the rest of her family threw themselves into it. Her family was CoE but not religious in the slightest. They went to church only twice a year, Christmas and Easter, and going was at least as much about flaunting her family’s holidays finery and sitting in their pew above the rest of the village as it was about the religious service. Her family played at being the gracious Crawleys of Downton Abbey, never mind that Robert Crawley’s own grandfather had given over the Abbey to the National Trust and the family only lived in a handful of the more than one hundred rooms.

The worst thing about Christmas with her family, in Sybil’s opinion, was the annual Downton Christmas party. Held on Christmas Eve, the guest list included Crawleys from across the U.K. and other distinguished personage from the Crawley social circle. There was a ten-foot-tall Christmas tree placed in the entrance hall, requiring servants to climb high upon ladders to decorate it appropriately. The dress code was formal and although there was no official rule saying so, unofficially all three Crawley sisters were supposed to come with dates. For Mary this was no problem, she had been bringing Matthew along for several years even before they had gotten married. For Sybil and Edith, this was somewhat more difficult. Sybil usually brought Gwen along as her date so as not to deal with older relatives and friends of her parents wanting to ask nosy questions about her life love and boyfriends.

Unfortunately, this year Gwen had promised to spend Christmas Eve with her girlfriend, leaving Sybil on the hook as to who she could bring along with her to suffer through the absurdities of a Downton Christmas party.

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Her friend Thomas would have been her next choice but he was spending his Christmas with his boyfriend on the Italian coast.

“Syb, I’m really sorry,” Gwen said, wrapping Christmas presents for her family. “I’ll ask Kieran if he can–” Kieran Branson was Gwen’s childhood best friend and her closest friend other than Sybil. He was a year older than Gwen and Sybil and had stayed friends with Gwen through her family’s cross-country move. Kieran was brash, grumpy, loud, and fiercely protective of Gwen. He and Sybil got on well enough due to their shared love and appreciation for Gwen.

“Gwen, that’s okay,” Sybil said, her stockinged feet resting on the coffee table. “I won’t force poor Kieran to go to a party with me where he’ll be surrounded by the kinds of people that he hates.” Gwen set down her scissors and picked up her phone. “I’ll just text him. He might have some ideas, anyway.”

                                                         ~

Sybil looked up from her notes for her nursing final. Her phone had just vibrated. Sybil avoided the dirty looks from a few of the students studying near her in the library and picked up her phone.

GWENNIE [4:27PM]: k has a solution! can u meet at beryl’s tmrw?

Beryl’s was a lovely little coffee shop only a few blocks away from Gwen and Sybil’s flat with really good coffee and the most amazing baked goods made on the premises.

Sybil typed out a reply.

SYB [4:28PM]: sure. what time?

GWENNIE [4:28PM]: lemme ask k

Sybil set down her phone and highlighted a couple lines in her notes. I should review this section again since I don’t remember it very well, Sybil thought. She made a quick note in the margins to do so and her phone buzzed again.

GWENNIE [4:34PM]: k says he’ll meet u at 4:30. does that work?

SYB [4:35PM]: yup!

Sybil wondered what Gwen had said to convince Kieran to come as her date. And why would he need to meet with her? He came over to Gwen and Sybil’s flat all the time. Sybil gave a mental shrug. If nothing else, it was an excuse to go to Beryl’s.

                                                    ~

Sybil hurried into Beryl’s. “Welcome to Beryl’s,” Daisy chirruped as the door closed behind Sybil. “Oh hey, Sybil,” Daisy said in her regular voice.

“Hey, Daisy. How’s my favorite waitress?” Sybil teased.

Daisy snorted. “Your favorite? You have to say that because we’re friends.”

“You’re right.” Sybil said in mock dismay. “I didn’t want to tell you this but Ethel’s actually my favorite waitress.”

Daisy gave her a playful swat on the shoulder. “Ha ha, sure she is. What do you want, Sybil?”

Sybil glanced at her watch. 4:17. She had time to order something before Kieran arrived. “Could I get two scones with clotted cream and raspberry jam?”

“Of course.” Daisy said. “Go sit wherever you’d like and I’ll come bring them to you.”

Sybil found a nice table near the back where it was warmest and unwrapped herself from her many layers of clothing. She pulled out her phone and set it on the table so she wouldn’t miss a text from Kieran.

A large group of uni-aged boys came in, talking and laughing over each other. A blond boy peeled off the group and came directly towards Sybil.

Oh god, Sybil thought, I do not want to be hit on right now. She ducked under the table and pretended to be getting something out of her bag. Go away, go away, go away, Sybil thought.

“Sybil?” Daisy called out, not able to see her. “SYBIL?”

Sybil emerged from under the table. “Sorry, over here, Daisy!” She waved.

Daisy set the warm plate down in front of Sybil. “Enjoy!” She said, cheerfully, and headed back to the counter.

The blond bloke came over to Sybil’s table and sat down in the chair across from her. Oh my god, Sybil thought, he’s hot but who the hell does this guy think he is?

“Excuse me,” Sybil said out loud. “I’m actually waiting on someone, so…”

The blond frowned. “You are Sybil Crawley, aren’t you? I’m Tom Branson, Kieran didn’t tell you?”

Oh. Ohhh. Everything was starting to make sense to Sybil now. She had met Kieran’s youngest sibling, his little sister Nuala who was her cousin Rose’s age, but by some strange twist of fate, she had never met the middle Branson sibling. Of course, Kieran hadn’t needed to meet up with Sybil, but his brother who had never met her would need to.

“You’re going to go with me to my family’s Christmas party?” Sybil asked. “Someone you’ve never met?”

Tom Branson shrugged. “It’s true that I don’t know you very well but I’ve heard quite a lot about you from Gwen and Kieran.”

“So have I.” Sybil admitted.

“Anyway, this was Kieran’s idea. I’ve recently had a rather bad break up.”

Who would break up with you? Sybil thought to herself, enjoying the eye candy in front of her.

“–and so Kieran thought that the two of us could reach an arrangement of mutual benefit.” Tom was saying.

“Are you sure?” Sybil asked. “Did Gwen and Kieran tell you all the details? The formal wear, the old money Tories, the pretending to be together?’

“What, are you trying to dissuade me?” Tom asked. “I know what kind of thing I’m getting myself into.”

“Well, if you’re sure.” Sybil said. “I’d be happy to have you for a fake boyfriend.”

Tom grinned. “Here, I’ve got to run to work but let’s exchange numbers so we know all the necessary information to pose as a couple.” He passed his phone to Sybil and with her agreement, picked up Sybil’s phone and entered in his number.

He stood up and Sybil realized he hadn’t even taken his coat off. “Alright, Sybil. It was lovely to meet you and I look forward to being your pretend boyfriend.” He winked. “Have a lovely evening and I’ll meet you at your flat at one on Christmas Eve.”

Sybil watched him leave. This was a completely crazy idea. Part of her wanted to stop it right now but most of her was giddy with excitement.

Daisy sidled up beside her. “You didn’t tell me you were on a date, Sybil.” She said. “Who’s the dreamboat? Did it not go well?”

Sybil swallowed her bite of scone. “Actually, he’s Kieran’s brother and he’s going to be my date to my family’s Christmas party.”

Daisy whistled. “I’d let him take me anywhere.”

                                                  ~

“Gwen!” Sybil shouted as she let herself into their flat. “Gwennie, where are you?”

“I’m in my room!” Gwen called back. “Did you meet Tom?”

Sybil walked into Gwen’s room. “Yes. Yes, I met Tom. Why didn’t you tell me I wasn’t meeting Kieran?”

Gwen unscrewed a bottle of green nail polish and began painting her toe nails. “Um, obviously because you wouldn’t have gone. You hate blind dates.”

Sybil sat down on Gwen’s bed next to her. “Okay, but this wasn’t a blind date.”

“Kieran and I weren’t sure you’d see it that way. So, what do you think?”

Sybil reached for a bottle of pale pink nail polish on the table next to Gwen’s bed. “I like him. He’s very fit, Gwennie. Why did you never tell me that?”

“Oh, is he?” Gwen said, airily, waving her nail polish brush in the air. “I guess I’ve never noticed.”

Sybil laughed and shoved her. They both giggled.

“You like him?” Gwen asked, seriously. “You don’t mind?”

“Yeah, it sounds like a great solution. I’m just not so sure what Tom gets out of this situation.” Sybil said.

“Are you serious?” Gwen asked. “Didn’t he tell you about his bad break up with that total arse Edna?”

“Um, he might have mentioned something about a break up,” Sybil admitted. “I wasn’t paying too much attention at the time.”

“Oooh.” Gwen said with a glint to her eye. “Do you fancy Tom then, Syb? Kieran will like that. He bet he could set you two up successfully.”

“Well, it’s not a successful set up, Tom’s not my proper boyfriend, he’s my pretend boyfriend.” Sybil pointed out.

“For now.” Gwen said, wisely. “For now.”

~

Sybil looked up from folding her clean laundry as her phone buzzed. She had finished her finals and was exhausted.

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:48PM]:  Hey Sybil, i thought we should decide some info about our relationship.

Sybil laughed, seeing what he’d put himself into her phone as.

SYBIL [7:48PM]:  good idea! ok how long have we been dating?

She got an immediate response.

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:48PM]:  how about five months? serious but not too serious

SYBIL [7:49PM]:  sounds good did we meet thru gwen n kieran?

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:49PM]:  oh i was going to go for drunk karaoke but yours makes more sense

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:49PM]:  easier to remember too

SYBIL [7:49PM]:  nah im not a killjoy im down for drunk karaoke if you are

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:49PM]:  youre amazing love 🙂

She knew it was stupid but Sybil felt her heart flutter a little seeing Tom call her love even just through text.

SYBIL [7:50PM]:  what should i know about your family  

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:50PM]:  you probably know most of it me kieran nuala mam and da

SYBIL [7:50PM]:  what do you study? what’s youre relationship like with your parents? nuala?  

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:51PM]:  uh i get on better with me mam than me da

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:51PM]:  i study journalism

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:52PM]:  nuala, well, shes my little sister so i love her naturally but shes a bit of a wildchild and ive had to get her out of quite a bit of trouble

SYBIL [7:52PM]:  sounds like my cousin rose

SYBIL [7:52PM]:  ok so my father’s uh technically the earl of grantham not that that title means anything to anyone anymore beside my father and my oldest sister mary

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:53PM]:  ok yes youre familys a bit more of an immediate concern

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:53PM]:  so super posh da and sister mary anyone else i should know?

SYBIL [7:54PM]:  yes mums an american and ive got another older sister edith

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:54PM]:  ah weve both got two siblings and an american mam

SYBIL [7:55PM]:  i didnt know your mum was american?

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:55PM]:  half-american technically

SYBIL [7:56PM]:  cool! you should mention that to my mum shell like that

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [7:56PM]: and how do i win over the rest of your family?

Sybil held her phone in her hands and thought about that for a bit.

SYBIL [8:02PM]:  if you pay attention to ediths interests and absolutely dont compare her to mary shell like you a lot

SYBIL [8:02PM]:  for my dad if you just dont talk socialism or like politics at all itll go along way

SYBIL [8:02PM]: i forgot to mention marys married to matthew and theyve got a little boy called george

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [8:02PM]: not to worry am quite good with little ones if i do say so myself

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [8:03PM]: ok so mary and matthew?

SYBIL [8:03PM]: matthews easygoing so i wouldnt worry

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [8:04PM]: every time you avoid telling me how to win over mary i get a little more worried 😛

Sybil laughed out loud.

SYBIL [8:04PM]: as long as you dont reduce mary to being just a mum shell like you more than most people

SYBIL [8:05PM]: she might not seem like she likes you tho most people think shes quite cold

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [8:05PM]: shall act as though shes incredibly warm and not just a mam

SYBIL [8:06PM]: one more person my granny but dont worry about pleasing her no one does

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [8:06PM]: jesus Sybil how much of your family am i going to be meeting?

SYBIL [8:07PM]: quite a lot actually but hardly any of them know me well and i don’t really care what they think so dont worry

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [8:07PM]: alright i wont then

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [8:07PM]: did you mean no one pleases your gran or no one worries about pleasing her

SYBIL [8:08PM]: the first

“Sybil,” Gwen called. “How were finals?”

Sybil looked up from her phone startled. Was it already time for Gwen to be home from work?

“They went alright, I think,” Sybil said as Gwen leaned on her door frame. “I’m bloody exhausted.” She yawned.

“Have you taken a nap yet?” Gwen asked.

“No, not yet.” Sybil said, attempting to stifle another yawn.

“Well, why not?” Gwen asked.

“I’ve, uh, been texting with Tom.” Sybil said.

Gwen raised her eyebrows but said nothing on the subject. “Well, nap now.”

Sybil tapped out a text to Tom on her phone.

SYBIL [8:10PM]: sorry Tom but im very tired do you mind if we finish our conversation tomorrow?

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [8:10PM]: very sorry to have kept you hope i didnt take up too much of your time

SYBIL [8:11PM]: no! this was very nice talk to you tomorrow good night

BOYFRIEND (TOM) [8:11PM]: good night love

Sybil smiled to herself. Maybe this year’s Christmas and Christmas party wouldn’t turn out so bad after all.